Middle Aged Malaise

I've been having a hard time posting of late. I guess that happens with blog writers as it seems that I find what appear to be abandoned blogs quite frequently when looking through the Blog Spot pages. So I guess I am not alone. But, it bothers me. Perhaps I'm over estimating my literary and commentarial merit but I think I have something to say and at some level think that I should say it. I get comments, and people do sometimes read what I say. I have just fallen out of the habit of posting and feel somewhat dishonest about simply posting a link to a bit of news with a wise crack that I hope sounds pithy and not jaded, bitter or mean. I think that part of this is because I am not a good writer. Longer post often take more than one day. So, by the time I get a post worth posting about poisonous milk in the PRC or my thoughts on the recent elections in Hong Kong or problems on Wall Street the issue is old news. It also means that I have to plan post out and write, edit and rewrite over a couple of days. I do have other things to do and a good post requires thought and time.

Perhaps this is simply my version of that middle-aged malaise that causes some men to buy a sports car or chase younger women. Seeing as I don't drive and have a really pretty wife maybe I'm just rebelling against aging by getting depressed or grumpy. Perhaps it is just as Bob Dylan said that "I used to care but things have changed." Whatever it is, I don't like it. I don't like feeling burned out and I don't like feeling that it doesn't matter. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I should accept the fact that I am insignificant cog in the international school education machine and turn like all the other cogs in that machine.

Maybe I shouldn't. I hope I won't

Until Next Time
Fai Mao
The Blogger who sometimes struggles to post