A Fai Mao Christmas Hymnal

Here are the lyrics of all the spoofs that I've done over the years that I can find.

Some are simply silly and other were written in response to social issues at the time.

2008
Noisy Night
(Silent Night)

Noisy night, smoggy night
All is busy all is bright.
Round yon bus stop mother and child.
Waiting patiently in the crowd
‘Till they catch a ride home, till they catch a ride home

Noisy night, smoggy night
All is busy, all is bright
Standing grumpily in the queue
Hoping to find a seat for the ride home
Hoping that it won’t rain, hoping that it won’t rain

Noisy night, smoggy night
All is busy, all is bright
Still the quiet place calls to each one
Waiting silently never proud
‘till we find our way home, ‘til we find our way home

Noisy night, smoggy night
Sitting still, sitting quiet
Knowing that Christmas is in the heart
Ignoring the neon is just the start
‘till we find our way home, ‘till we find our way home

___________

This Carroll was written because at this time in 2007 there were a number of horrific suicides in the government housing complex known as Tin Shui Wai

2007
O Little Town of Tin Shui Wai
(O Little Town of Bethlehem)

O little town of Tin Shui Wai,
How still we see thee lie.
Above thy deep unemployed sleep
The silent stars drive by;
Yet the dark Mercedes hideth
The everlasting bureaucrat;
Whose hopes and fears for retirement years
Are fading as you die.

For children born of immigrants,
And gathered in one place
While parents work the siblings keep
their watch of indifferent love.
O buildings packed together
Proclaim the contractors greed.
In flats so small a barbie doll.
Would find them cramped and leave.

How silently, how silently
The wordless grief is given!
The hopeless lives of migrant wives
Their fate fixed for all time.
No ear may hear them falling;
‘till on the ground they lie,
Where hopeless grief collides with concrete
And all we can do is cry.

Where children bound hand and foot,
Pray simply to be spared;
Their misery cries out to me,
Can we not do better by thee?

Where charity stands watching,
And LEGCO holds wide the door,
The dark night screams, the body breaks,
and the coroner comes once more.

O lonely child of Tin Shui Wai,
Descend not to the pavement, we pray;
Cast not out thy self but stay within;
Find some hope in life today!

There is more for you than you see
More than the Donald Tsang could ever say;
For though it is true that he has ignored you
You don't deserve to die.


2007
Cell Phone Bells
(Silver Bells)

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks.
Dressed in DKNY style
In the bus there's a few old men standing

Children pouting
People staring
walking mile after mile

And on ev'ry street corner you'll hear

Cell-phone bells, cell-phone bells
It's still work time in the city
Ring-a-ling, don't you hate them to sing?
Soon it will be dim-sum time

Strings of street lights
Even stop lights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush home with their cell-phones

Hear the snacks crunch
See the tourist bunch "Is this the way to Mong Kok?"
And above all this bustle you'll hear

Cell-phone bells, Cell-phone bells
It's still work time in the city
Ring-a-ling, don't you hate it when they sing?
Soon it will be dim-sum time

2001
Jingle Bells - Hong Kong Style

Rushing through Mong Kok in a Kowloon Motor Buss
Over the bumps we go
Talking all the way (yak yak yak)
Bells on Cell Phones Ring
Making spirits bright
Oh, what fun it is to sing a Cell Phone Song Tonight

Oh Cell phones ring, cell phones ringPeople answer "Wai?"
Oh what fun it is to ride in a buss tonight

_______


2002
Walking in a Hong Kong Wonderland
(Winter Wonderland)

Tram bells ring are you listening?
In the street lights are blinking
Its crowded tonight
What a frenetic sight
Walking in a Hong Kong wonderland

Gone away is bluebird
We killed them all because of flu birds
We'd rather not cough
As we walk the along
Walking in a Hong Kong wonderland

In the crosswalk we can see an old man pushing
a cart full of paper brown He'll say: Can you help meWe'll say: No, Man
But you'll be there by sundown
Later on we'll conspire,As we push our stock price higher
As we live and we die
In our flats in the sky
Walking in a Hong Kong wonderland

When we get old we'll retire
In Canada or Australia
We'll frolic and play
Though far far a way
Walking in a Hong Kong wonderland


2005
Hong Kong 12 Days
(12 days of Christmas)
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A pirated CD

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a Pirated CD

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four cell-phones calling,
Three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD!

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six taxis honking
Five Golden rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the Eight Day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight ferries crossing, Seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine Tours a touring, eight ferries crossing, seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten ledge-co members, Nine tours a touring, eight ferries crossing, Seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me.
Eleven buses parking, ten ledge-co members, nine tours a touring, eight ferries crossing, seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A 12 square foot flat
Eleven buses parking. ten Ledge-co members, Nine tours a touring, eight ferries crossing, seven (Filipino) maids a shopping, six Taxis honking
Five Golden Rings
Four cell-phones calling, three cake shop vouchers, two soy sauce chickens and a pirated CD

2006
Chestnuts Roasting in an Open Barrel
Chestnuts roasting in an open barrel
Bus fumes getting up your nose
People going by looking down at their shoes
talking on their cell phones

Everybody knows it rude to push through the crowd
Yet seldom does anybody care
But from time to time you you can see and you can hear
The sound of someone spreading cheer

Everyday we walk righ past all those other folks
Looking neither left or right
But even in the crowd and noise that everywhere here

May you find a Merry Christmas and good cheer

Until Next Time
Fai Moa
The Christmas Blogger