At times I feel like I am in a time warp. It doesn't seem possible to be as old as I am. Not that I'm that old but I have honestly reached the point where I can say I wonder where the days have gone?
I don't know what age is commonly thought to be the beginning of middle age. But, if middle age is the point where you've lived about 1/2 your life then I'm definitely on the downhill side.
When I turned 30 I decided that I was not going to look back at my 20's and wish that I could be there again. I was going to enjoy the things I could enjoy in my 30's that I couldn't do in my 20's. That has proved to be a momentous decision.
For me turning 30 meant I was watching my children grow up. It meant that I was married long enough to not be considered a newly wed. It meant having more money because my career was advancing. There were all sorts of things I could do in my 30's that were impossible when I was in my 20's. They were good years.
When I reached 40 I did the same thing. I am now 45 and that's a good age. If I go riding with a cycling club and all the 20 something year-old rocket boys drop me out the back I no longer have to blame the bike. I can say: "Hey, I'm 45, they should be faster than me." and it is true.
I can listen to B.B. King and not have my peers sneer because I'm not Rock, Punk, Grunge, Emo, Hip-hop, rap or whatever enough.
I've begun to enjoy and be able to poke fun at the gray in my beard.
When I reach 50 I'll put the 40's down and enjoy being 50 something.
Decade by decade, I'm determined to enjoy my life. I'm going to enjoy my decades for what each brings. I'm not going to look back and wish to be younger or regret chances missed or the road not taken.
Doing this also helps to keep me focused upon today and what I can and should do today. Jesus said that we should not "Worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own." My wife will tell you that I don't have any problem not worrying about tomorrow. If it was up to me, we'd have no savings because I'd live hand to mouth with no regrets. But, I could easily have fallen into the trap of trying to hold on to my youth. That is easily as big a sin being too focused on tomorrow because while one denies the ability of God to provide the other denies that God has blessed.
I find the people who try to look 25 when they are 45 to be somewhat sad. I feel they must not be happy with themselves. They have refused to see the good of today because they are trying to relive yesterday.
Me, I'm looking forward to becoming a crotchety old man.
Until Next Time
Fai Mao
The Happily Middle-aged Blogger
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