Friday, October 07, 2005

Guilty? Not me!

My wife and I are coming to grips with a new stage of our lives and marriage.

Our daughter just left for university in the UK a month ago. I expected to miss our daughter intensely; I haven't.

I worry about her. I hope she is doing ok. I helped her get her baggage together and purchase the things she needed before she left. I want her to be safe.

I am apprehensive about the University she is at. Indeed, I opposed her going to this university for a variety of valid reasons. However, the scholarship she received trumped fatherly concerns.

I expected to be overwrought with concern for her safety.

I haven't been.

In fact, my wife and I have really been enjoying our time since Sunyi left.

We go for walks in the evening. We can watch movies that we like without having to worry if she will find them boring. We have more storage space (A premium thing in Hong Kong) because we now have an extra bedroom that can be used as a small storage closet.

It is easier to eat dinner because we do not have to design meals that a 17 year-old on a perpetual diet will still eat. We get fewer strange files downloading onto our computer. Our telephone is not constantly busy.

This weekend is a holiday in Hong Kong and Kim and I have plans to go out to eat with a friend on Saturday and to participate in a team triathlon on Sunday where I will be a cyclist and she a runner. Those would be things that were harder to do with a child in the house.

None of this is meant as implying anything negative about our daughter. She is a well adjusted, normal young adult. It is just that teenagers, high-school students in particular tend to want to lead very different lives than their parents. As kids go our daughter was a joy to raise and gave us few problems. It is just that it is easier to find concensus with two people rather than three.

My wife got pregnant 6 weeks after we were married. So, in a very real way this is the first time since shortly after we were married that we haven't had to plan our life's around expecting or raising a child.

What a wonderful feeling it is to be an empty-nester!

I still miss our daughter but I am also enjoying being an empty-nester.

It is a good thing.

I don't feel guilty at all.

Until Next Time
Fai Mao
The Empty Nest Blogger

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